Can you help these authors to improve their writing?

Here are the first drafts of Max, Sana, Udeshpal and Chloe’s Mermaid Tale. They would really love your feedback so that they know what elements you think are effective in their writing, but also some advice about how they could improve. Think carefully about your comment. What can they do to improve their writing? They will use your feedback to help them improve their stories next week. Please click the link to leave your feedback. Remember this can be an audio comment or a written target.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

VoiceThread – Group conversations around images…, posted with vodpod

http://voicethread.com/book.swf?b=2149890
http://voicethread.com/share/2149890/

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8 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    shawon said,

    I liked your question also I like the word unappreciated max.

  2. 3

    karolina said,

    Shawon i agree with you but i think there are more things max has really worked hard on.

  3. 5

    Paige! said,

    Wow! you have all put alot of effort into this storys there so amazing!!!!!!!

  4. 7

    aiza said,

    i really enjoyed reading your work i think it was fantastic i like your wonderful wow words i think you have tried very, very hard well done :-):-):-)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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